Meredith and I moved into a phase of our relationship where we asked more and more questions about each other. Going deeper and deeper. Most were very sexual. We called it our game. We would get each other very excited through our minds, but then go home to our spouses.
R: I want to know more about you. I find you fascinating.
M: Me? What do you find fascinating about me?
R: Your mind. It’s so sexy. You are such a dichotomy of wholesomeness and naughty.
M: Yeah, it’s difficult because most people don’t know me like that. I have to keep hidden.
R: You don’t have to hide from me anymore. I’m a lot like you.
M: I know. That means a lot to me. I want to know more about you too, Ryan. But I do feel like I have an advantage. You had your silly wall up so didn’t delve into my world, but I still learned a lot about you.
R: oh really?! Well yeah I guess that’s true! Ha! Sort of a one way path of information. I hope you like what you learned.
M: I loved it. I think you are wonderful, and now with this new information – well it doesn’t hurt 🙂
R: Can I ask you a question?
M: You can ask me anything. Anything.
R: Have you been with a woman?
M: No. But not because I didn’t try.
R: When did you try?
M: When I was in college I had a girlfriend who was quite beautiful and one day when we were drinking I convinced her to cuddle with me under a blanket and watch a movie. I was so turned on. I didn’t know I could be turned on from women but I was. I mean I had thought about it before and liked the idea but this was different.
R: What happened?! Fuck this is hot.
M: Well I put my arms around her and snuggled up. Maybe a little too close for friends, but not so close she thought it was awkward. Then I tried to kiss her. It landed on her cheek. She quietly told me she wasn’t into girls, but we stayed holding each other through the rest of the movie.
R: oh that’s a rough ending.
M: yeah. I was mortified and basically didn’t move out of fear. We were a little weird for a couple weeks but we got over it. I wish it would’ve happened though. I still think it would be fun to try. I want to explore that side.
R: so you find women sexy? Like they actually turn you on?
M: yes. Very much.
R: You are really something. We are going to have to go check out chicks together.
M: Tell me Ryan, what is a fantasy of yours?
R: Just one? There are so many.
M: Just one for now, but I want to know all of them.
R: Ok. I come home from work. She greets me kneeling on the floor just inside the door. Naked except for cuffs on her wrists and ankles. She says nothing but just stares at the ground at my feet. She doesn’t need to say anything. It’s understood.
M: Holy Fuck! That is so hot! That sounds amazing.
R: That’s just the beginning.
M: please please please tell me more…
R: I don’t say a word. I just walk in. Put my stuff down. Ignore her. She’s knows to hold still and obey me.
R: Then I walk over and grab her hair and quickly tilt her head back. She sighs. Letting her hair drop I grab her arms by the elbows and pull them behind her, lifting her up at the same time. “You’re mine now, slut.”
M: I love the way your mind works.
R: Then I take her downstairs where there is a power rack to tie her to.
M: I’m not sure I can handle much more of this. You really have this as a fantasy?
R: Oh yes, and much more. I think that one would turn into a long night. Do you like it?
M: I love everything about it. I don’t think you know how turned on I am right now.
R: Really?! Wow. What parts did you like? I want to know you.
M: All of it. The submission. The waiting for her man. Naked. The ignoring her. The roughness. Fuck, whatever is going to happen downstairs!
R: You really are something. That is a fantasy you want to do?
M: OMG, very much so. But it’s very unlikely.
R: I hear ya on that one. You would really sit there, waiting, not speaking, not moving, until your man took control?
M: Yes. I need that. There’s a side of me almost no one knows.
R: Sounds like it. I’m intrigued.
The game more or less ended there for the day. We played this game many times over the coming weeks. Learning much about each other.